Band 6.5 - Nowadays, many people choose to be self-employed rather than work for a company or organization. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this choice? - Solved

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User Stance

Balanced view with personal preference

Nowadays, many people choose to be self-employed rather than work for a company or organization. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this choice?

Recently, I have noticed that people are leaning more towards self-employment than working for a company. There could be various reason for change in employment trend. I am going to outline both the advantage and disadvantage of being self-employed as well as working for a company.

Self- employment makes a person more accountable to work as they are going to be directly impacted by the outcome of the work. People tend to put in more work and show increased commitment as they want to save from any loss. It also gives them the freedom to choose their work timings, and it also gives them a chance to pursue their passion. This may be the major reason for many people to choose self-employment. It could also be equally challenging, stressful and riskier. People should find effective ways to cope stress and challenges in order to stay in the race.

Some people believe Working for a company gives them more financial stability than self-employment. This gives them more safe working condition and are not constantly challenged. People who prefer less risk tend to prefer working for a company than being self-employed.

People who want to pursue their passion and have no fear of facing challenges are more like to take the self-employment route than ones who work for a company. So, it all depends on their goals, financial needs to choose employment option. I would personally prefer to work for a company owing to my financial needs.

9 errors detected: 5 grammar, 1 spacing, 1 capitalization.

In-depth Feedback

The essay addresses the advantages and disadvantages of self-employment versus working for a company, which aligns with the question's focus. The response is relevant and covers both sides, though some points could be more developed. The essay meets the word count requirement and provides a balanced view, though the conclusion leans towards a personal preference, which slightly detracts from the overall balance. The vocabulary and grammar are adequate, with some minor errors and repetitions.

Detailed Recommendations

7

The essay fully addresses the question by outlining both advantages and disadvantages of self-employment and working for a company. The ideas are clear and relevant, though some points could be more detailed. Examples provided support the question, and the word count meets the requirement. The conclusion introduces a personal preference, which slightly shifts focus but does not significantly detract from the task.

Develop each point more thoroughly to provide deeper analysis and stronger support for your arguments.
Maintain a balanced view throughout the essay, avoiding personal preferences in the conclusion to stay fully objective.
6

The essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the progression of ideas could be smoother, and some transitions are weak. Linking words are used but could be more varied. The overall flow is generally clear but has noticeable flaws.

Use a wider range of linking words to improve the flow between ideas and paragraphs.
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and that the progression from one to the next is seamless.
6

The vocabulary is adequate but somewhat repetitive, with some basic terms used frequently. There are minor spelling errors, and collocations are generally natural but could be more sophisticated. The range of vocabulary is sufficient but not advanced.

Expand your vocabulary by using more precise and varied terms to avoid repetition.
Pay attention to spelling and proofread your work to eliminate minor errors.
6

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are some grammatical errors. The accuracy is generally acceptable, but errors occasionally affect clarity. More variety in sentence structures would enhance the essay.

Incorporate a wider range of sentence structures to demonstrate grammatical flexibility.
Review grammar rules to reduce errors, particularly in subject-verb agreement and article usage.

Grammatical Errors

Error: "There could be various reason for change"

Explanation: Subject-verb agreement error

Correction: "There could be various reasons for the change"

Error: "People should find effective ways to cope stress"

Explanation: Missing preposition

Correction: "People should find effective ways to cope with stress"

6.5
Overall Band Score
  • Task Achievement:
    7
  • Coherence & Cohesion:
    6
  • Lexical Resource:
    6
  • Grammatical Range:
    6

Task Achievement

Addresses The Task Fully: 7

Offers Clear, Developed Ideas: 7

Provides Relevant, Specific Support: 7

Fits Appropriate Length: 8

Coherence & Cohesion

Progresses Ideas Logically: 6

Clear Intro & Conclusion: 7

Uses Cohesive Devices Well: 6

Varies Cohesive Devices: 6

Lexical Resource

Varied Vocabulary: 6

Accurate Spelling & Formation: 7

Collocations: 6

Grammatical Range

Mixes Simple & Complex Forms: 6

Accurate Grammar: 6

Vocabulary Proficiency

CEFR Level: B2 - Upper-Intermediate
To reach a higher level, focus on expanding your vocabulary with more advanced terms and idiomatic expressions. Practice using synonyms to avoid repetition and read more to encounter new words in context.