Band 6 - Some people think that being able to communicate with others online is breaking down geographical barriers and enabling people, who would normally never have the chance to meet, to communicate. What are the advantages of international communication online? Are there any disadvantages to this? - Solved

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User Stance

Balanced view

Some people think that being able to communicate with others online is breaking down geographical barriers and enabling people, who would normally never have the chance to meet, to communicate. What are the advantages of international communication online? Are there any disadvantages to this?

In contemporary society, some ponder that having the ability to converse with other people online is to eliminate location obstacles and to allow people who commonly ever have the opportunity to communicate. In this essay, I will explore the benefits and the drawbacks as well.

On the one hand, international conversation online assists users in experiencing new friends from other countries. By having prospects to chat with international friends, any applications sometimes can serve users some services like video calling and also sharing geographical maps. With these goods, people would approach new mates with good quality services on social media platforms. As a result, this new experience might give humans a sense of being friendly or even familiar for making new friends or reuniting their long lost relatives in other countries.

On the other hand, it can be seen as such a waste of time because users can not commute to meet their international partners immediately. While plane tickets prices are exorbitantly expensive, consequently, it can be difficult with some who are living in adversity. Furthermore, there has been some new legislation from many countries like America that travellers who want to meet their friends have to provide their personal details carefully and commit not to destroy any property. If any of the above mentioned situations cannot be done completely, those people ought not to obtain a visa.

In brief, online chatting with international peers goes along with a good quality of application’s services that support people to communicate well. In contrast, requiring a meeting from these friends may be possibly hard to do.

12 errors detected: 4 grammar, 3 hyphenation, 2 informality, 1 redundancy, 1 spacing, 1 spelling.

In-depth Feedback

The essay addresses the question's focus on the advantages and disadvantages of international online communication. It presents a balanced view, discussing both the benefits of making new friends and the challenges of meeting in person. However, the ideas are somewhat underdeveloped, and the examples provided are generic. The essay meets the word count requirement but lacks depth in analysis and specific examples. The grammar and vocabulary are adequate but not sophisticated, with some noticeable errors.

Detailed Recommendations

6

The essay addresses both advantages and disadvantages of international online communication, as required by the question. However, the ideas are underdeveloped, and the examples are generic. The response is relevant but lacks depth and specific support.

Develop your ideas further with more specific examples to strengthen your argument. For instance, mention specific platforms or real-life scenarios where online communication has bridged geographical barriers.
Ensure that your examples directly support the points you are making. Avoid generic statements and focus on concrete details.
6

The essay has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the progression of ideas could be smoother, and the linking words are somewhat repetitive. The introduction and conclusion are present but could be more effective.

Use a wider variety of linking words to improve the flow of your essay. Avoid repetitive phrases like 'on the one hand' and 'on the other hand.'
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the ideas progress logically from one to the next.
6

The vocabulary is adequate but somewhat repetitive and basic. There are some collocations and attempts at varied vocabulary, but they are not always precise or sophisticated. Spelling is generally correct.

Expand your vocabulary by using more precise and varied terms. For example, instead of 'good quality services,' you could say 'high-quality services.'
Pay attention to natural collocations to make your writing sound more fluent and native-like.
6

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are noticeable grammatical errors. The errors do not severely impede understanding, but they affect the overall clarity and accuracy.

Work on your grammatical accuracy by reviewing common errors, such as subject-verb agreement and article usage.
Practice using a variety of complex sentence structures to improve your grammatical range.

Grammatical Errors

Error: "any applications sometimes can serve users some services"

Explanation: Incorrect word order and awkward phrasing.

Correction: "Some applications can sometimes provide users with services"

Error: "this new experience might give humans a sense of being friendly"

Explanation: Awkward phrasing and incorrect use of 'friendly.'

Correction: "this new experience might make people feel more connected"

Error: "requiring a meeting from these friends may be possibly hard to do"

Explanation: Redundant use of 'possibly' and awkward phrasing.

Correction: "arranging a meeting with these friends may be difficult"

6.0
Overall Band Score
  • Task Achievement:
    6
  • Coherence & Cohesion:
    6
  • Lexical Resource:
    6
  • Grammatical Range:
    6

Task Achievement

Addresses The Task Fully: 6

Offers Clear, Developed Ideas: 6

Provides Relevant, Specific Support: 5

Fits Appropriate Length: 7

Coherence & Cohesion

Progresses Ideas Logically: 6

Clear Intro & Conclusion: 6

Uses Cohesive Devices Well: 5

Varies Cohesive Devices: 5

Lexical Resource

Varied Vocabulary: 5

Accurate Spelling & Formation: 7

Collocations: 6

Grammatical Range

Mixes Simple & Complex Forms: 6

Accurate Grammar: 5

Vocabulary Proficiency

CEFR Level: B2 - Upper-Intermediate
To improve your vocabulary, try reading more advanced texts and noting down new words and phrases. Practice using these in your writing to make it more sophisticated and precise.