Band 7 - Some people think that advertising has positive economic effects. Others think it has negative social effects because it will make people feel dissatisfied with who they are and what they have. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. - Solved
User Stance
Some people think that advertising has positive economic effects. Others think it has negative social effects because it will make people feel dissatisfied with who they are and what they have. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Many are of the opinion that advertisements are economically beneficial while opponents assume that it only brings adverse effects on the mind of people about possessions. In order to give an elaborate insight, both points of view will be discussed below via persuasive rationales before giving my own perspective.
There are several reasons why advertising has positive economic effects, namely revenue growth and job opportunities. First, advertising means that enterprises have to popularize their products to a wide range of viewers regardless of ages and genders via attractive images and expressive languages, which can foster the curiosity of customers and draw their attention to their businesses, thus boosting revenues. For example, Dior, which is a famous fashion brand, is hiring Jisoo who is a well-known singer to wear their clothes with a view to raising people’s awareness, especially Jisoo’s fans, about their clothing, hence cultivating sales across the world. Second, the advertising process needs a number of positions including marketers, designers, content creators and the like, indicating the potential to create employment opportunities. This can reduce unemployment rates and contribute to economic developments.
Conversely, some think that it is more of a drawback than a benefit. Specifically, advertisements appear when businesses establish new products which may probably be better than previous ones. Meanwhile, humans have insatiable desire to have the best things, meaning that they are easily attracted to buy the trendiest and latest although the old ones are still usable. For instance, Apple anually launches a new series of phones into the market and advertises them across innumerable platforms including facebook, youtube, which makes people purchase their mobile phones and tablets despite the well-being of their current devices. This contributes to a thrown-away society, leading to financial insecurity among users.
In conclusion, although both supporters and critics offer their logical arguments behind their opinions, namely an increase in income and employment chances and a waste of money. I am in favour of the supportive opinion as it holds more validity in the long run.
6 errors detected: 2 spelling, 1 grammar, 1 capitalization, 1 hyphenation, 1 punctuation.
In-depth Feedback
The essay effectively addresses the question's focus on the economic benefits and social drawbacks of advertising. It presents a balanced discussion of both views before concluding with the writer's own opinion. The arguments are well-developed, with relevant examples such as Dior's marketing strategy and Apple's product launches. The essay meets the word count requirement and maintains relevance throughout. However, there is room for improvement in the depth of analysis and the variety of linking words used.
Detailed Recommendations
The essay fully addresses the prompt by discussing both the positive economic effects and negative social effects of advertising. It provides clear examples and a personal opinion, though the development of ideas could be more detailed. The word count is sufficient, and the response is complete.
The essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The ideas flow reasonably well, though some transitions could be smoother. Linking words are used accurately but could be more varied to enhance cohesion.
The vocabulary is varied and generally appropriate, with some effective use of collocations. However, there is occasional repetition, and more sophisticated vocabulary could be employed to elevate the lexical resource.
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures with mostly accurate usage. There are minor errors, but they do not impede understanding. More complex sentences could be used to showcase higher grammatical range.
Grammatical Errors
No grammatical errors detected.
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Task Achievement:
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Coherence & Cohesion:
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Lexical Resource:
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Grammatical Range:
Task Achievement
Addresses The Task Fully: 8
Offers Clear, Developed Ideas: 7
Provides Relevant, Specific Support: 7
Fits Appropriate Length: 8
Coherence & Cohesion
Progresses Ideas Logically: 7
Clear Intro & Conclusion: 8
Uses Cohesive Devices Well: 6
Varies Cohesive Devices: 6
Lexical Resource
Varied Vocabulary: 7
Accurate Spelling & Formation: 8
Collocations: 7
Grammatical Range
Mixes Simple & Complex Forms: 7
Accurate Grammar: 7