Band 6.5 - it is important for eveyone to save money including young people for the future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? - Solved

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Agrees with the importance of saving money

it is important for eveyone to save money including young people for the future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Saving money is a beneficial habit for everyone which could improve people's life condition in their future, I totally agree with this point of view. Moreover, youth should be financial educated and save their money for essential things.

I agree, that it is necessary to people save money for important assets, such as housings and vechiles, rather than waste them to no useful items. Nowadays there are widespread deposits, which help people save their savings rationally and get saving bonuses. Moreover, by saving money and earning additional bonuses earnings will rose slightly. For example, at current time I have a practice of money saving in the bank and the despite the rising inflation, I am able to pay almost 50 percent of the cost of housing and after several years sell with double price. It's obvious that saving money, a young age leads to convenient and Carefree  life in the future.

Other crucial reason of saving income is a “safety cushion”. Wotht each year we become mature and we are no idea of situation which we can't face in the future and everyone should be prepared for every critical, difficult period financially. As a good example is a covid period where a majority people were failed from their permanent jobs and they had a necessity of money.

Wrapping up, all generations despite the age should be financially educated and have a knowledge of beneficial ways to save money and this habit simplifies their future.

12 grammar, 3 spelling, 1 capitalization, 1 informality errors detected.

In-depth Feedback

The essay addresses the importance of saving money for everyone, including young people, and presents a clear agreement with the statement. The focus is maintained throughout, with relevant examples and a logical progression of ideas. However, the development of ideas could be more detailed, and some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing slightly hinder clarity. The essay meets the word count requirement and provides specific examples, such as the personal banking experience and the COVID-19 pandemic, to support the argument. Overall, the essay is relevant and coherent but would benefit from more sophisticated vocabulary and grammatical accuracy.

Detailed Recommendations

7

The essay fully addresses the question by agreeing with the statement and providing reasons and examples to support the viewpoint. The ideas are clear and relevant, though some could be more developed. The examples given, such as personal savings and the COVID-19 pandemic, are pertinent but could be more detailed. The word count is sufficient.

Develop your examples further to provide more depth and specificity, such as explaining how the banking system works in more detail or providing statistics about job losses during COVID-19.
Your agreement with the statement is clear and well-supported with relevant examples, which strengthens your task achievement.
6

The essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, some transitions between ideas are abrupt, and the flow could be smoother. Linking words are used but could be more varied and accurately placed.

Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs, such as 'furthermore,' 'in addition,' and 'consequently.'
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that transitions between paragraphs are smooth and logical.
6

The vocabulary is adequate but somewhat repetitive and basic. There are some attempts at more sophisticated terms, but these are not consistently used. Spelling is generally correct, but there are a few errors and awkward collocations.

Expand your vocabulary by using more precise and varied terms, such as 'financial literacy' instead of 'financial educated' and 'emergency fund' instead of 'safety cushion.'
Pay attention to collocations to ensure that word pairings are natural and accurate, such as 'earn interest' instead of 'get saving bonuses.'
6

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Some sentences are awkwardly phrased, and there are issues with verb tense and agreement.

Review verb tenses and subject-verb agreement to ensure accuracy, such as correcting 'earnings will rose slightly' to 'earnings will rise slightly.'
Practice constructing more complex sentences with subordinate clauses to enhance grammatical range, such as 'Although inflation is rising, I am still able to save money.'

Grammatical Errors

Error: "earnings will rose slightly"

Explanation: Incorrect verb form; 'rose' is past tense, but future tense is needed.

Correction: "earnings will rise slightly"

Error: "Wotht each year we become mature"

Explanation: Typographical error; 'Wotht' is incorrect.

Correction: "With each year we become more mature"

Error: "we are no idea of situation"

Explanation: Incorrect phrasing; 'are no idea' is not grammatically correct.

Correction: "we have no idea of the situation"

Task Type: Opinion
6.5
Overall Band Score
  • Task Achievement:
    7
  • Coherence & Cohesion:
    6
  • Lexical Resource:
    6
  • Grammatical Range:
    6

Task Achievement

Addresses The Task Fully: 8

Offers Clear, Developed Ideas: 7

Provides Relevant, Specific Support: 7

Fits Appropriate Length: 8

Coherence & Cohesion

Progresses Ideas Logically: 6

Clear Intro & Conclusion: 7

Uses Cohesive Devices Well: 6

Varies Cohesive Devices: 5

Lexical Resource

Varied Vocabulary: 6

Accurate Spelling & Formation: 7

Collocations: 5

Grammatical Range

Mixes Simple & Complex Forms: 6

Accurate Grammar: 5

Vocabulary Proficiency

CEFR Level: B2 - Upper-Intermediate
To reach a higher level, focus on expanding your vocabulary with more advanced and precise terms, such as 'financial literacy,' 'economic stability,' and 'fiscal responsibility.' Practice using these terms in context to improve naturalness and accuracy.