Band 7 Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? Solved

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Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Ever wonder how we stayed connected before social media took over? Nowadays, millions use it daily to chat with mates or catch up on news, and I reckon the benefits just about edge out the downsides. While it’s got its flaws, the way it brings people together and keeps us informed is hard to beat. Let’s dig into this.

First off, social media shrinks the world. You can message a friend across the globe in seconds or video-call family you haven’t seen in ages. In my country, I’ve kept in touch with an old schoolmate who moved to Canada without it, we’d have drifted apart. It’s instant, easy, and keeps relationships alive. That said, this links to a big plus: staying close despite distance.

On top of that, it’s a news goldmine. Events pop up on your feed faster than any paper could print think protests or storms. I remember scrolling Twitter during a local flood, getting updates quicker than the telly. Some might argue it spreads fake news too, which is fair, but you can usually spot the rubbish if you’re careful. Plus, it’s handy for finding out what’s on locally bit of a sidetrack, but true.

The catch? It can suck you in. Hours vanish scrolling, and that’s not healthy. Privacy’s another worry those dodgy ads seem to know too much. Still, I’d say these are manageable if you set limits.

In wrapping up, social media’s perks like connection and quick news outweigh its pitfalls, long as you use it sensibly. It’s a bit concerning how hooked we’ve got, though. Maybe the trick is enjoying it without letting it rule us?

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In-depth Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the question's focus on whether the advantages of social media outweigh its disadvantages. The writer presents a balanced view, discussing both the benefits (e.g., global connectivity, quick news updates) and drawbacks (e.g., time consumption, privacy concerns) of social media. The ideas are relevant and well-developed, with clear examples supporting the arguments. The essay meets the word count requirement and maintains a logical structure throughout. However, there is room for improvement in lexical resource and grammatical accuracy to elevate the overall quality.

Detailed Recommendations

7.5

The essay fully addresses the question by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of social media. The writer provides clear examples and maintains relevance throughout. However, some points could be more developed to strengthen the argument further.

To enhance task achievement, consider expanding on the disadvantages section. For example, delve deeper into how privacy concerns impact users or provide more detailed examples of time-wasting behaviors.
The essay does well in presenting a balanced view with relevant examples. The discussion on global connectivity and quick news updates is particularly strong and well-supported.
7.0

The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The ideas flow logically, and linking words are used effectively. However, there is occasional repetition and some transitions could be smoother.

To improve coherence, vary the linking words used. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'on top of that,' try 'furthermore' or 'additionally.' This will enhance the flow and readability.
The essay's structure is clear and logical, with a strong introduction and conclusion that effectively frame the discussion.
6.5

The vocabulary is adequate but somewhat repetitive. There are instances of colloquial language (e.g., 'mates,' 'telly') which may not be suitable for a formal essay. However, the writer uses some precise terms effectively (e.g., 'privacy concerns,' 'global connectivity').

To boost lexical resource, replace colloquial terms with more formal alternatives. For example, use 'friends' instead of 'mates' and 'television' instead of 'telly.' Additionally, incorporate more advanced vocabulary where possible.
The essay demonstrates a good grasp of basic vocabulary and some effective use of precise terms, which aids clarity.
7.0

The essay displays a good range of sentence structures, including complex sentences. There are minor grammatical errors, but they do not impede understanding. The accuracy is generally high, with only occasional slips.

To improve grammatical accuracy, pay attention to subject-verb agreement and article usage. For example, ensure that singular and plural subjects match their verbs correctly.
The essay effectively uses a variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences, which enhances readability and demonstrates grammatical range.

Grammatical Errors

Error: "In my country, Iu2019ve kept in touch with an old schoolmate who moved to Canada without it, weu2019d have drifted apart."

Explanation: Run-on sentence; lacks proper punctuation.

Correction: "In my country, Iu2019ve kept in touch with an old schoolmate who moved to Canada. Without it, weu2019d have drifted apart."

Error: "Events pop up on your feed faster than any paper could print think protests or storms."

Explanation: Incomplete sentence; lacks clarity.

Correction: "Events pop up on your feed faster than any paper could print, such as protests or storms."

7.0
Overall Band Score
  • Task Achievement:
    7.5
  • Coherence & Cohesion:
    7.0
  • Lexical Resource:
    6.5
  • Grammatical Range:
    7.0

Task Achievement

Addresses The Task Fully: 8

Offers Clear, Developed Ideas: 8

Provides Relevant, Specific Support: 7

Fits Appropriate Length: 8

Coherence & Cohesion

Progresses Ideas Logically: 7

Clear Intro & Conclusion: 8

Uses Cohesive Devices Well: 7

Varies Cohesive Devices: 6

Lexical Resource

Varied Vocabulary: 6

Accurate Spelling & Formation: 8

Collocations: 6

Grammatical Range

Mixes Simple & Complex Forms: 7

Accurate Grammar: 7

Vocabulary Proficiency

CEFR Level: B2 - Upper-Intermediate
To advance to a C1 level, incorporate more advanced vocabulary and collocations. For example, replace 'quick news updates' with 'timely news dissemination' and 'privacy concerns' with 'data privacy issues.' Additionally, practice using idiomatic expressions and phrasal verbs to add variety and depth to your writing.