Band 7 - In some countries, people spend a lot of money on buying fashionable clothes. Why do they do this? Do you think it is a good or bad trend? - Solved
User Stance
In some countries, people spend a lot of money on buying fashionable clothes. Why do they do this? Do you think it is a good or bad trend?
In many nations, individuals spend a considerable amount of money on enhancing their attire to follow the trend, desire to look good compared to others and some are brand enthusiasts. I believe it is a negative trend for significant reasons that I will discuss in this essay.
One of the major reasons for changing fashion is the trend. Every day social media celebrities showcase a new style of clothing, with the majority of brand promotions that viewers consider as an ongoing trend which results in unnecessary purchases. Additionally, humans need validation which encourages them to wear the latest designs for compliments. Also, some individuals are brand followers. They want to have everything that the brand produces, no matter how costly or necessary it is. If analyzed carefully, all these reasons are interlinked as a brand pays influencers for branding and people purchase to satisfy their glamour and validation among family and friends.
I consider it a bad trend because this kills our own creativity and way of styling. The type of clothes these designers make does not look fashionable on every individual and I have seen many people walking wearing unusual clothes which do not fit the occasion. For instance, people wearing street wear clothes in a semi-formal party which make them look odd and strange. Furthermore, this unnecessary glamour sometimes becomes an embarrassment because the body curves do not fit according to the stitching and it makes the body look inappropriate and vulgar. Lastly, this phenomenon is introduced as "fast fashion" which means new clothes everyday. It is a strategical move by various brand to increase their sale and generate revenue in the name of fashion which people should understand.
In conclusion, staying in fashion is a good deed but one should focus on their body fit and style. Also, it is necessary not to fall into the trap of rapid fashion engaged by brands for their benefits.
8 errors detected: 2 punctuation, 2 hyphenation, 2 grammar, 1 capitalization, 1 spacing.
In-depth Feedback
The essay addresses the question's focus on why people spend money on fashionable clothes and whether this is a good or bad trend. The response is relevant and provides clear reasons for the trend, such as social media influence, the need for validation, and brand loyalty. The writer's stance is clearly against this trend, citing reasons like loss of personal creativity, inappropriate fashion choices, and the exploitative nature of fast fashion. The essay is well-structured with a logical flow, though some ideas could be further developed. Vocabulary is varied, and grammar is mostly accurate, with minor errors. Overall, the essay is a strong response to the prompt.
Detailed Recommendations
The essay fully addresses the question, discussing reasons for spending on fashion and presenting a clear stance against the trend. Ideas are relevant but could be more developed. Examples like 'fast fashion' and 'street wear in semi-formal parties' support the argument well. The word count meets the requirement.
The essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Linking words are used effectively, though some transitions could be smoother. The variety of connectors is adequate but could be expanded.
Vocabulary is varied and mostly precise, with terms like 'fast fashion' and 'brand enthusiasts.' Some repetition occurs, and collocations are generally natural. Spelling is error-free.
The essay demonstrates a good range of sentence structures, though some complex sentences could be more polished. Minor grammatical errors are present but do not impede understanding.
Grammatical Errors
Error: "this kills our own creativity"
Explanation: Subject-verb agreement issue with 'kills'.
Correction: "this kills our creativity"
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Task Achievement:
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Coherence & Cohesion:
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Lexical Resource:
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Grammatical Range:
Task Achievement
Addresses The Task Fully: 8
Offers Clear, Developed Ideas: 7
Provides Relevant, Specific Support: 7
Fits Appropriate Length: 8
Coherence & Cohesion
Progresses Ideas Logically: 7
Clear Intro & Conclusion: 8
Uses Cohesive Devices Well: 7
Varies Cohesive Devices: 6
Lexical Resource
Varied Vocabulary: 7
Accurate Spelling & Formation: 8
Collocations: 7
Grammatical Range
Mixes Simple & Complex Forms: 7
Accurate Grammar: 7